Some much-needed humour: Installing Husband 1.0

This week, like the last few weeks in fact, is proving to be one of those where I wish that I could slow down time, or preferably turn it back a day or two.

Alternatively, I wonder how advanced cloning technology is?

I really need more of me’s (yes, I know that’s grammatically incorrect but you get the gist):

  1. To finish the various jobs before their respective deadlines,
  2. To deal with all the general home and garden chores,
  3. To tackle all the Christmas preparations, such as making and sending out Christmas cards, buying, designing and making suitable presies, baking Vanillekipferl, Lebkuchen, Spekulatiusgebaeck and Stollen, using Oma’s recipes, putting up the Christmas tree, etc etc etc.

Is anyone else struggling to get everything done before the end of the year?

————-

Meanwhile, a sweet friend of mine sent me a chuckle, so I’d like to share it with you too:

INSTALLING HUSBAND‏ 1.0

A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy:

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the Flower and Jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as News 5.0, Money 3.0 and Cricket 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.

———————

The reply:

Dear Madam,

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter command:  ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember that overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1.  Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.  You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam!
IT Support Desk

5 thoughts on “Some much-needed humour: Installing Husband 1.0

  1. ha ha, funny! It is so weird about the holidays this year. Neither of the kids are coming home and we are going to go to my parent’s house for the first time in maybe 15 years so we are not putting up a tree or doing all the usual holiday traditions.

    It feels so RELAXED! Of course I still had to shop and will have to send out some gifts, but a lot of the “extra’s” have been put on the back burner, and it feels good. I am wondering whether to even send out Christmas cards. Maybe just skip them this year? Isn’t this odd?

    Of course my mom and dad are putting up the tree, decorating the house, planning Christmas dinner…

    It is feeling so good I am wondering if it would be possible to weave some of this simplicity into next year’s celebration.

    Is there some place you can cut back in your baking or some other areas, Reggie?

  2. Most amusing to me, the comfort of the small world we live in. A similar e-mail found its way to me. How many miles apart do we live? You, there on the edge of a separaate continent, the other side of the world, in more ways than one. And we read the same things. There is comfort in that. We are not so dissimilar, all of us, are we?

    • Hi Gin
      Welcome to my blog! 🙂
      Yes, it really is comforting to find kindred spirits in another country on the other side of the planet. It makes the big scary world seem just a little safer, I think.

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