Oh lordie…
Deep breath….
We sat through the first 30-45 minutes of this, getting more and more unsettled and agitated, before we unanimously agreed that it was the shitest film we had seen in a looooong time, and that it would not improve our lives one little smidgeony bit, if we forced ourselves to watch the rest of it.
Not even having a fantastic post-dinner cup of tea and nibbling our way through a delicious capuccino muffin was able to transform it into a good movie.
So we turned it off.
The verdict:
- The acting was appalling.
- The script was dreadful.
- The plot was a complete mess.
- The CGI and visual effects were abominable.
- It was violent, blood-spattered, and full of rage.
- The characters were unbelievable. Un-believable. Two-dimensional might be too generous a word. One-dimensional, maybe, at a push. It’s really hard on the viewer if you can’t stand ANY of the characters: Whom do you cheer for? Whom do you want defeated – or dead? Quite honestly? All of them.
And I just have to get this pet peeve off my chest:
WHY do so many film makers think that on-screen puking is cool?!
Seeing someone puke, even if you know it’s fake and rehearsed a gazillion times, is going to turn your stomach, particularly if you’ve just partaken of a delicious meal.
It’s a natural, instinctual response.
So why the blazes do they have to include it in films?!
Frankly, it looked like someone had assembled a video game from all the worst, most incomprehensible and most non-sensical fragments of other video games.
And then some bright spark (not!) said, “Hey, listen! I got a cool idea! Why don’t we make this into a movie?!”
You shouldn’t have. Really not.
Grains of Sand 