Here is the Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:
- Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
- Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
- Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
- Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
- Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
- Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
- Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
- Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
- Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
- Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
- Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
- Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
- Glibido: All talk and no action.
- Dopeler Effect: T he tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
- Arachnoleptic Fit: The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
- Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
- Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
With thanks to a good friend. 😉