Movie review: “Lost”

A highly appropriate title for a movie that has no idea where it’s going.

Quite frankly, it was dreadful. A complete waste of time. Don’t bother watching this drivel, unless you are heavily into Dean Cain, who plays ClarkKent/Superman in the American television series, Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman.

Cain plays Jeremy Stanton, the Vice President of a Californian bank who gets lost in the desert, somewhere in Nevada (apparently). He spends much of his time on his cellphone, ranting and raving at the disembodied voice of Judy, who works at ‘Road Aid’, some sort of telephonic pathfinder service, which keeps giving him wrong directions.

It is gradually revealed that he has robbed his own bank, and that his partners-in-crime are somewhat miffed that he has taken more than his agreed-upon share. There are lots of flash-backs and flash-forwards and flash-sideways with exaggerated wooshing sound-effects.

Stanton is pretty much the only character in the movie, apart from a couple of peripherals, like his beautiful wife and cute son who are waiting anxiously for him to come home, a colleague with a golden retriever, both of whom meet a sticky end, and an obsessive part-Indian bank robber who tracks him relentlessly across the desert to the final showdown.

And a Mexican boy at a gas station in the middle of nowhere, who repeats the phrase “No hablo Inglés”; a weird religious woman at an isolated ramshackle farm house who is watching an even weirder preacher with long white hair on the telly with a glazed-over stare that makes me wonder whether she has perhaps crossed over herself; and a creepy bald state trooper with impenetrable sunglasses who is either following him, or Stanton is driving in circles. Which I think he is.

Unfortunately, the arrogant Stanton is not a likeable character. So I didn’t really feel much sympathy for him when the pursuit hotted up.

Lost was written and directed by first time filmmaker Darren Lemke. So perhaps I shouldn’t be so hard on the poor chap. Perhaps he was lost too.

But I am hard pressed to find any redeeming features in this crappy movie.

Sorry, Darren.

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For other movies we’ve watched in May, click on:

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